WHY DO RELATIONSHIP FAILS?
Before going to sleep yesterday, I was just thinking to myself, Why is being into a relationship so hard these days! Afterall both the parties that are involved claims to love each other. Then why does the relationship fails?
Are there few more elements that are necessary for a relationship to work?
I kept thinking for a while and the answer was right along with me. My own failed relationships in the past. I thought about it and realised that LOVE isn't the only thing that makes a relationship successful. There are far more vital and important elements required. Such as:
1. TRUST---
- For a long distance relationship, this is very important. You may love each other but if you aren't able to trust, the relationship is bound to fail. Girls often get jealous that their boyfriend is talking with so many girls and he may cheat on her. Boys often get insecure that his girlfriend goes out with her male best friend to cafes and restaurants and she may fall in love with him. But both of them should realise one thing and that is they both love each other only and no matter how many third parties come in between them, that love isn't lost. They should be able to trust one another with the fact that the other person won't go behind their back.
2. LOYALTY---
- We often mistake loyalty with something that only animals can show. For example a dog. Loyalty nowadays is considered as embarassment. People would say that If you are loyal, that means you are denying yourself the opportunity of exploring others. But that's not at all true.
"Being Loyal shouldn't be a choice. It's a responsibility."
How can you claim yourself to be in love if you are not loyal to your partner!?
Some people might confuse loyalty as just being "physically loyal" to one another. If you are not having sexual relationship with other people, then you can consider yourself as loyal. But that's not entirely correct. One should also be emotionally loyal. If you love someone, you cannot develop the same kind of feelings for some other person despite the fact that you are not physically involved with that person. No matter how desperate the situation becomes, you should keep in your mind that no one else is worth having over an existing relationship of yours.
3. COMMUNICATION ---
- One thing that a couple in relationship should always be prepared for is having a numerous encounters of argument with each other. Those arguments can be based on very small thing or it can be huge also occasionally. At times, you might also stop talking with each other over the same said argument. But remember, "Stop Talking" is never a good solution.
You have to talk about your differences, you have to come up with a solution to resolve those tensions existing between you both. You have to communicate with each other in order to know what is going wrong and how to overcome that. You have to accept your mistakes and not let yourselves commit those mistakes again.
EGO cannot have a place in relationship. It acts as a termite for successful relationships.
Moreover, communication shouldn't always be about coming up with a solution. It's about sharing also. If you have something good or bad happening in your life, your partner has every right to know about it. That's how you make them more involved in your lives and tell them indirectly that they are a very important part of you.
4. RESPECT---
- In a relationship, you should always have a mutual respect for one another. You should respect the others advice, suggestions and decisions. If you think that they are doing something wrong in their life, tell them about that. Let them know that whatever they are doing is not appropriate or not a good approach to their problem. But the condition is you have to be respectful. You can't be arrogant while telling them and in any way show to them that you are the superior being in that relationship. Both of you holds the same place and has the same level of importance.
Respect can also mean about acknowledging each other and the position you hold in the relationship. At times, I know it might be very tricky to tell your parents or your family about your existing relationship. Because you wait for the right time to break out the news. But there also exists those times when you have to acknowledge yourself as a couple and let others know that you both are involved and love each other.
If at those times, you fail to recognise your partner as your girlfriend or boyfriend, it shows disrespect towards them. It might lead your better half to feel that maybe you are ashamed of them to let the public know that you both are involved or you yourself haven't accepted the relationship fully and that's why you are unable to acknowledge their position.
This can also build trust issues and further lack of communication in the relationship.
Despite all these, there still exists one issue why relationships fails.
“looking for a backup"
Even though we have found the right one, we always look for someone else.
"What if the relationship fails, let's look for a backup."
"What if her parents won't accept me, let's look for a backup."
"What if he finds someone else and falls in love, let's look for a backup."
So many reasons, we look for a backup. Having backup means not giving 100% into the relationship. You always hold yourself back into committing yourself fully.
So when you have indeed found the right one for yourself, don't be afraid to move forward with him/her. Don't think about the relationship to fail, instead put all the efforts possible to make it a successful one. And if you truly love and believe in each other, don't let go.
